Humans, the dumbest smart species on Earth.
- i was riding in the car with my parents and convinced them to pick this guy up because he was stranded or something. it was nighttime and raining. we picked him up and he sat in the back with me. next thing, he and i are in a public bathroom stall having sex. at one point the stall door was closed and locked but at another point it was wide open and there was some other dude in there and he was like “uh..” but neither of us really cared. i forgot what happened after that.
- i was with ivan outside of his apartment, even though the setting was totally different from his actual apartment. we were sitting on a stoop ledge and i wanted to have sex. so we took off all our clothes in broad daylight outside and i sat in his lap and we started doing it. it was real intimate. i was watching the neighbor in front of us’s window in case anyone came to look. i also had a bowl of cut up vegetables and fruits in my hand. the neighbors across from us, a guy and a girl, came outside and started talking to us. i forgot really what happened after that, i think because nothing really happened. we just talked with them naked, they were asking about us (like our majors and stuff) and they’d met ivan before, and it was fine.
- i was with caitlyn, alex, and bryan in their dorm. we were sitting on a couch chilling or watching TV, and there was a coffee table in front of us. on the coffee table was a little bug, which looked kind of like a rolypoly but reminded me more of those squirmy bugs that come out of the sink from the sewer. it was rolling and squirming around on the table, and then it pooped this long long poop and it was really really gross, because the poop was longer than its body. then it (the bug) grew a little in size. the poops looked like human poop.
this kept on happening until it was getting pretty big and its poops were so fucking long. at this point i was like “i cant…. this is fucking gross and kind of scary i need to get rid of this bug.” i didnt want to kill it though because it was really plump and thick and meaty and that would be nasty. so i picked it up with a napkin and went out to the hall, found a trash can and threw it in there. there was another bug just like it in the trash can, only that one had gotten way bigger and grosser. i ran back to the dorm hoping it wouldn’t follow me back.
at one point the whole thing freaked me out so much (before throwing the bug away), that i screamed so loud. caitlyn was like “shhh we’re not allowed to have guests in the dorm anymore so you have to be quiet!” so i tried to hid in a closet or behind a door in case an RA came in to check on us.
- this man was the leader of a tribe and they were in the desert. he thought he was some fire prophet and he could manipulate fire so he thought that meant he was to rule the world. a couple people on his counsel questioned him, and the woman who was his hand and who was also a magical person, like a sorceress, gave him some tactical advice that he didn’t like. so he had them burned to death, by leading them to a place where there was a huge figure of him and a man pulled a rope and the figure’s mouth opened and huge flames spewed out onto the people he wanted to kill. but in another version, the leader was a woman. she’d challenged the sorceress woman to some kind of duel with knives. they dueled and the queen/leader was saying that the other woman would not be able to get inside her head or something….like figure her out or w/e, and it was a challenge. so they dueled again and this time the sorceress did some sorcery and accessed this part of the queen’s inner being (or w/e) that was like a spinning pyramid in her spinal cord/brainstem that had cords attached to her brain and body parts and stuff, and it was transparent but outline was blue and there were little glowing colors inside of it. after this happened, the queen was extremely angry. she grabbed the sorceress and cut her between the legs, where her thigh met her pelvis, on both sides, and then she banished her. it had turned out they were lovers. now the banished sorceress had to traverse the desert alone. after a while of this she saw on of the tribe’s horses galloping towards her and she climbed onto it to ride. the horse had lots of very distinct, bright red markings all over it apparently cut into the horse before being sent to her. the woman was like “she gives me a mountain among hills..” in other words, they’d given her this horse to be able to find her easily.
eventually she finds 2 or 3 people who remind me of aang and katara and sokka, and these people are the good guys who are trying to stop the fire woman from ruling and just want peace in the world. they are at a gate, and beyond the gate is their old sage friend’s home. they are talking through the gate asking for drinks. they let the woman join them, even though they don’t know who she is. in one version, that’s all. in another version, the person who is like aang is like “i have a feeling this woman came from this so-and-so tribe where their queen thinks she is the khaleesi, but the real khaleesi is the mother of dragons and she is the only one who is allowed to rule over everyone.” the sorceress woman is blonde with short hair. the queen lady has long flowing dark red hair.
謎クワガタ。あとでググる (烏來 Wulai)
why aren’t these being reblogged more often?
i rather see these than “keys in hand”
Umm so since I’m stupid could someone kindly explain each step for me like step 3 am i head butting him in the face or the chest?
I think it depends on the height of the person, but I suppose the head is a more effective target. I hope this helps :)
Step 1: Step back the moment he reaches for you.
Step 2: Duck!
Step 3: Head butt him in the chin. It’s very important that it is the chin and not the chest because it is much more uncomfortable and disorienting to have your teeth bang together especially if it cuts his tongue (which it will if it is in the way). More than likely height won’t matter. He will be leaning forward from the missed attempt at grabbing you.
Step 4: Knee him in the balls.
Step 5: When he doubles over, jab him on his back. I believe at the base of the neck just above the shoulder blades would be best. I’m not an expert, but this seems like the best place, imo.
Step 6: Don’t lose contact. Bring your other hand over and slam your hands against the sides of his heads as hard as possible. Right on the ears is the best place; it is extremely disorienting if done correctly. Then take his head and bring it down on your knee as you bring your knee up. It’s very important that you avoid the nose because if you knee his nose it will definitely break and more than likely the bones will stab his brain killing him, so aim for his mouth instead.
Step 7: Keep your knee up and bring your foot out to kick him over. Personally, I don’t like the image because it looks like she kicked him with her toes. You do not want to do that. Instead kick him with the ball or heel of your foot and put power behind it with a push.
Step 8: He is on the ground. You could probably stop here and he would get the picture, but if you really want to…Your leg is still in the air from the kick. With all your force slam the edge of your your heel on his side. It will be more effective if you lower your body first by bending at the knee of the leg your weight is on. Done right, you can break a rib or two.
reblogging again for that^